you warmed up to the idea of being with me while I was with her. I think had she been a man, you wouldn’t have held my hand under the table, knowing my other hand was in hers. but the way your hand felt in mine brought back so many feelings I had hoped were dead and gone. It seems my feelings about you will never actually leave me. oh how that idea taunts me. I actually never wanted to love you. I never wanted to have any strong feeling towards you. yet after all this time here it is, whatever “it” is.
“when you leave the lifestyle, you know where to find me”
you never did truly know me. why was I so enamored? after all this time, I still can feel your gaze radiating inside me. even now, with my eyes wide open, I don’t understand why.
oh you used to be someone I loved to dream about.
